Self Esteem

Self Esteem

 

Self-Esteem is a topic that people continue to write on thoroughly over the years. I came to find that out after I did some preliminary research before writing this article. So many self-help books and articles use the topic of self-esteem to shed light on how it affects us, our business, our families, and our relationships. According to dictionary.com, self-esteem is: "confidence in one's worth or abilities; self-respect." It was the last part that inspired me to write: "self-respect." So then, I looked up Self-respect in the online dictionary, and it read: "pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity." WELL! That was all I needed to see!! 

As I reflect on my life, and then on my clinical work, I can recall several times when I did not give myself the respect that I deserved, or operate with a certain level of dignity. It was more or less due to some degree of low self-esteem in some areas. On the personal side, yes, I too have dated or befriended the wrong person (people, over and over haha) to feel accepted or to have someone around. Professionally, I have lowered my standards and did things that I did not want because I was "paying dues". Or Maybe the senior clinician was doing it, so who am I to say no. But now, I do understand that lowering self-esteem will lead to disrespecting oneself and one's values. 

Poor self-esteem has ruined many families, relationships, led to addiction, started wars (I'm sure, I have no real proof though). Hell, Self Esteem itself funded at $700,000 (

Self-Esteem is a topic that people continue to write on thoroughly over the years. I came to find that out after I did some preliminary research before writing this article. So many self-help books and articles use the topic of self-esteem to shed light on how it affects us, our business, our families, and our relationships. According to dictionary.com, self-esteem is: "confidence in one's worth or abilities; self-respect." It was the last part that inspired me to write: "self-respect." So then, I looked up Self-respect in the online dictionary, and it read: "pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity." WELL! That was all I needed to see!! 

As I reflect on my life, and then on my clinical work, I can recall several times when I did not give myself the respect that I deserved, or operate with a certain level of dignity. It was more or less due to some degree of low self-esteem in some areas. On the personal side, yes, I too have dated or befriended the wrong person (people, over and over haha) to feel accepted or to have someone around. Professionally, I have lowered my standards and did things that I did not want because I was "paying dues". Or Maybe the senior clinician was doing it, so who am I to say no. But now, I do understand that lowering self-esteem will lead to disrespecting oneself and one's values. 

Poor self-esteem has ruined many families, relationships, led to addiction, started wars (I'm sure, I have no real proof though). Hell, Self Esteem itself funded at $700,000 research task force in California in the '80s that started a movement (Its Right here). Marketing to one's self-esteem is big business too! Retail and Beauty brands were built on and thrive off of people (especially a woman's) self-esteem. It is also an essential topic for us in the social services/helping industries. However, I wish I had a wand of magic to wipe away the doubts and fears of all of us!

Self-esteem also has to do with how we relate to ourselves and not just our relationships with others. In the definition I referenced, it mentioned confidence in oneself. So I looked up 'confidence' and found "firm trust," and the big one, "the state of feeling certain about the truth of something." I yelled: This is it!!!" That is is the key to self-esteem!!! Having the truth of something and being steadfast in that is so amazing! 

If your self-esteem is low, chances are your confidence in yourself is small, which can then lead to self disrespect. But knowing who you are, and the truth about you, and not the fact you tell yourself because of what people have told you, but the real truth about you, you will respect yourself more. That respect will look like improved relationships, not allowing yourself to have certain people around you in your life, and flourishing in many areas of life. Often time the media outlets tend to promote a certain 'look' for us in one way or another. So it makes sense that the number of people getting plastic surgery rises yearly (for certain augmentations). I'm sure someone along the way told someone that they would look better, be more successful, or even beautiful if they were to x,y,z, when the truth may have been they were already all of those things! That is not to say that something like plastic surgery in itself is a lousy decision. But, if one is going under the knife because of a critique on their body by another person, that is a clear indication that person self-esteem isn't set up correctly (and neither is the person who critiqued them quite honestly)

I do know that once you not only start believing but start remembering all the good and power that you possess, watch that self-esteem start rising! And everything that you may have done that left you feeling sad or broken (which was a sign of self-betrayal or disrespect) you will unlearn them. Then adopt a new set of standards for yourself and the people around you. This is called doing "the work," and it takes time. The good news is you don't have to do it alone, and it can start with something small, such as looking at a mirror and telling yourself out loud: "I am enough, right now, as I am!"

 research task force in California in the '80s that started a movement. Marketing to one's self-esteem is big business too! Retail and Beauty brands were built on and thrive off of people (especially a woman's) self-esteem. It is also an essential topic for us in the social services/helping industries. However, I wish I had a wand of magic to wipe away the doubts and fears of all of us!

Self-esteem also has to do with how we relate to ourselves and not just our relationships with others. In the definition I referenced, it mentioned confidence in oneself. So I looked up 'confidence' and found "firm trust," and the big one, "the state of feeling certain about the truth of something." I yelled: This is it!!!" That is is the key to self-esteem!!! Having the truth of something and being steadfast in that is so amazing! 

If your self-esteem is low, chances are your confidence in yourself is small, which can then lead to self disrespect. But knowing who you are, and the truth about you, and not the fact you tell yourself because of what people have told you, but the real truth about you, you will respect yourself more. That respect will look like improved relationships, not allowing yourself to have certain people around you in your life, and flourishing in many areas of life. Often time the media outlets tend to promote a certain 'look' for us in one way or another. So it makes sense that the number of people getting plastic surgery rises yearly (for certain augmentations). I'm sure someone along the way told someone that they would look better, be more successful, or even beautiful if they were to x,y,z, when the truth may have been they were already all of those things! That is not to say that something like plastic surgery in itself is a lousy decision. But, if one is going under the knife because of a critique on their body by another person, that is a clear indication that person self-esteem isn't set up correctly (and neither is the person who critiqued them quite honestly)

I do know that once you not only start believing but start remembering all the good and power that you possess, watch that self-esteem start rising! And everything that you may have done that left you feeling sad or broken (which was a sign of self-betrayal or disrespect) you will unlearn them. Then adopt a new set of standards for yourself and the people around you. This is called doing "the work," and it takes time. The good news is you don't have to do it alone, and it can start with something small, such as looking at a mirror and telling yourself out loud: "I am enough, right now, as I am!" 

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